A Clash of Three
by Maya Beebop
Summary: Inuyasha, Yusuke, and Spike are brought from the Japanamation plane of reality to give the readers some laughs.


The three men looked around in wonderment.

"What the hell is this?" Yusuke asked no one in particular.

"Who the hell are _you_?" The boy in red, Inuyasha, inquired; mocking the first speaker.

"Where the hell _are _we?" Spike spoke to nothing.

"_This_ is a convention of the stars of my three favorite anime shows, _I_ am Maya Beebop, and _you_ are in my studio," a strange voice spoke. It was almost omniscient, reverberating from all around them. Yusuke noticed something in the center of the room. 

"What's that?" He pointed, and the three dashed forward, only to see a strange figure in a Jacuzzi. It was apparently female, and wore a purple bodysuit. Of course, it was soaking wet because the tub was full of steaming hot water and everything below the girl's upper torso was lost in thick, white bubbles. 

"Well, I see we've all noticed me. Now, let's get down to business…" the figure stated as she began moving bubbles about as if she was searching for something.

"Um, forgive me for asking, but just _what_ is it we're here for?" Yusuke asked, bewildered like the rest.

"You're here because I've always fantasized what the three of you would do together when put in the same room. More specifically: in the same room with _me_. Even _more_ specifically: with me in one of my many forms. This, by the way, is just one of hundreds I can take on. Or I can make myself appear differently to each of you. It depends on my mood." She continued searching. "Now _where_ is it?"

"Where's what?" Inuyasha ventured.

"That one world! You see, each of these billions of bubbles is a specific time and place I put here. There's places from the real world, and each of _your_ worlds as well. Not to mention hundreds of different _times_. So stop yammering and let me do my job!"

The three were taken aback.

"I don't believe this. Ed just slipped me another of those crazy mushrooms and I'm hallucinating." Spike began to walk away from the Jacuzzi.

"Um, I wouldn't do that if I were you…" Maya stated without looking up. "Oh, and if you're wondering how I can see you without looking, it's because I created this place, so I know all. I even know what you're about to say, which is-"

"So where are we going?" Inuyasha and Maya inquired at the same time.

"To answer your question, or rather _mine_…hee hee, Writer's humor…you're going to my host's neighborhood to fulfill a fantasy she's about to have of you three dropping into a rather unpleasant dream she's having at the moment. You see, she'll be half-awake in a few moments at exactly 5:09 in the morning, decide she wants to have the ass of a certain fat prospective rapist of hers kicked, (he's in the nightmare, by the way), and go back to dreaming. Therein lies your destiny. You will drop in and do as you see fit." She continued to search.

"Your…host?" Inuyasha exclaimed.

"_Yes_ my host. Don't bother trying to figure it out. I'm merely a lost soul tethered to this earth by a living teenager, along with several other souls and fan characters. Aha!"

She held up a small pile of bubbles. At the top of the mound, one small speck of light shone like diamond. It rose and hovered in the air.

"Well, get going!" she demanded.

"Um, how?" Yusuke inquired.

"Oh! How silly of me! Here…" She emptied her hands of the excess bubbles, then cleared a space in the water. Carefully touching the floating sphere, she brought it down to the water and released it into the liquid. 

Suddenly, it popped, sending an image across the water. It now bore the scene of a street, flanked by houses, on which one end stood a very frightened but determined brunette in pajamas, and opposite her a very fat, sweaty man with a devilish grin.

"Jump in. I swear you'll fall from the sky in there." Maya pointed to the water, at which the three men now stared.

"To hell with it. If I'm dreaming, this won't hurt a bit." Spike stated and leaped. As soon as his foot touched the pool of water, he disappeared with a flash of light. Yusuke and Inuyasha looked at each other, shrugged, and followed.

The three fell from the sky onto the paved asphalt. The girl looked surprised and relieved as they landed around her. Spike drew his gun, and Inuyasha drew the Tetsusaiga as it transformed. Yusuke just pointed with his finger.

Analyzing the situation quickly, the men looked at the girl.

Spike gave the other two a look that clearly said, "I'll take her. You two handle the clean-up." He grabbed the startled teenager around the waist and carried her away from the scene. She struggled to see what was going on with Inuyasha and Yusuke while Spike hurried to get her away from "danger".

Yusuke bellowed his telltale cry of battle. "SPIRIT GUN!" A wave of blue light pushed the man onto his back and he writhed on the ground.

Inuyasha leaped into the air. He brought Tetsusaiga down with a crashing blow and split the man in half.

The scream barely had time to subside as the voice came over them again.

"Splendid, splendid work, boys! You helped my human overcome her nightmare and in the end succeeded beautifully. I'm bringing you all home now. She's waking up, and I wouldn't want you caught in that dream as it dissipates around you."

Spike, although in his cruiser, could see just how right the voice was. He saw and felt both the girl and the ship slowly dematerializing. Suddenly there was a blinding flash of white light, and they were back in the spotless room with the Jacuzzi and girl.

"Well done, boys! But I have a little surprise for you. 'No rest for the weary', as they say. This little outing is simply for Inuyasha, so the two of you can do as you like in this room while he battles his past." Maya laughed.

Yusuke and Spike looked at each other and shrugged while Inuyasha stood with a gaping mouth.

"How can you just play with our lives? This is _wrong_!"

She pouted. "Aw, now that's not the cooperation that I expected. _But_, if you _want_, I'll send you home. Of course, you'll loose the chance of a few dozen Shikon shards, but hey, what's thirty or so to you?" Maya stated knowingly and turned away. She grinned out of sight of Inuyasha.

"Th-th-thiry?! Well why the hell didn't you say something?! Where am I going?" He drew his sword.

"Now _that's_ the ticket! You're going to fight it out once and for all with Kikyo. Do me a favor, and kick her ass, would you? She has _no_ feelings for you left and there's no chance you'll ever be together again. So get over her and pretend she's just another demon. Which, she is, by the way. She's just a creature that's taken on her form."

Inuyasha stood, speechless.

"Well?" Maya gestured towards the tub.

"What does she have to do with the jewel shards?"

Maya sighed. "Would it motivate you if I told you it was Naraku using her form? You _do_ know Naraku has countless shards."

"_Hell_ yeah it would motivate me! What're you waiting for?!" Inuyasha demanded.

"You. Now hold on a second…there." Maya had succeeded in popping another bubble on the surface of the water. In the image, Kikyo stood in the center of a burning village.

Inuyasha jumped in without a second thought.

***

The hanyou stood in the middle of roaring flames.

The priestess had an arrow at the bow, waiting for a clean shot.

Inuyasha bellowed out over the din of fire. "I know it isn't you, Kikyo!"

Her voice shot back at him with incredible force. "How do you know that, Inuyasha?! She has no control over me! You and I can finally go to Hell together! No other people are here to worry about. Certainly not that Kagome person. 

"Come, please! She who sent you here can draw you out as soon as she pleases. Just come to Hell with me and see what it's like! Then, when you go home, I can come and whisk you away with me!"

Inuyasha stared into the abyss of her black, empty eyes and for a moment believed her. But truth came back.

"No! Tetsusaiga!" His sword instantly transformed and he brought it down over Kikyo in an instant. From her body shot forth hundreds of glimmers of pink light, which Inuyasha realized to be jewel shards!

He ran around, trying to gather them up as he slowly faded away from the world. He suddenly realized he was back in the white room, empty handed.

Maya was giggling to herself.

"Where're the jewel shards?!" Inuyasha demanded.

"Sorry. Motivation." She laughed out loud.

"So I get _nothing_?! I get it, I'm just a puppet to you! We all are!" Inuyasha bared his fangs.

Maya stopped laughing. 

"You most certainly are _not_. You'll be compensated for your troubles, all of you." Maya held up a small fragment of the Shikon Jewel for Inuyasha to see.


End file.
